Letting Go of Painful Thoughts and Feelings and Loving Yourself as You Are
In my last blog post (Absolute and Unconditional Self-Love and Self-Acceptance), I told the story of how I was able to use a simple Positive Energy Psychology (PEP) process to go from anxiety and emotional pain to a state of peaceful self-love and self-acceptance. Whenever you’re feeling a negative emotion, it’s generally a sign that you are not fully loving and accepting yourself in that moment. The next time you find yourself feeling bad about a situation in your life, particularly when you feel like you are judging or rejecting yourself for something, I really encourage you to give the following process a try. Just follow the simple steps I outline below to let those old conditioned patterns go and bring yourself back to loving and accepting yourself unconditionally no matter what. Read the rest of this entry »
Is there something that you really love to do but you find that you rarely make the time to do it? I think that’s true for many creative, sensitive people. In this video, I talk about why I think we do this and what we can do about it.
We know that we really do love doing things like writing, art, singing, dance, theater, etc. but we let our desire for perfection hold us back from exploring these things more deeply in our lives.
Although the pursuit of excellence is a noble goal, we really do need to let go of expecting ourselves to be perfect right out of the gate. Except for a few rare exceptions like Mozart, successful creative people don’t usually start out with perfection. If we expect that of ourselves, we will never give ourselves the opportunity to make it through the awkward beginnings stages of exploring our creativity. It takes a willingness to do something badly to eventually get to the place where we do it very well.
In this video, I’ll walk you through an EFT process to help you let go of those expectations of perfection so that you can explore and have fun with your creativity in whatever way you are inspired. From my own experience, when I give myself permission to not be perfect, I’m often surprised at how well things turn out. Plus, I have a lot more fun. And when it comes down to it, that’s why we really want to do these creative things: because we just feel so good when we’re doing them.
So, I hope this video helps you get to that place yourself. When you let go of that pressure to be perfect, you let yourself just enjoy expressing yourself as a creative being in whatever way you are inspired.
My self-help program helps creative, sensitive, spiritual people embrace who they are, let go of self-doubt, and share their gifts with the world.
Learn more about it at YourInspiringLife.com
Today’s EFT video post will really help you on those days when you feel overwhelmed with too many things to do and you just can’t seem to prioritize and get started. When I’m feeling that way, sometimes I end up not getting anything done and I end up procrastinating: surfing the web, getting a cup of tea, checking my e-mail… like that. If this sounds familiar to you, you’re going to really like this video.
When you find yourself in that state, just watch this EFT video. It only takes seven minutes and you will feel so much better at the end. It will calm your mind so you can prioritize and focus on the task at hand… and even enjoy it.
Leave me a comment below and let me know what you think. Thanks!
In this video post, I walk you through an EFT process to help you stop procrastinating on something that you know you have to do but you really don’t want to. The EFT process that I guide you through in this video is simple but very powerful and it will totally help you stop procrastinating and just do what you have to do. I promise you that you will feel better when you do.
First thing though, be sure that the reason you’re procrastinating is because it’s just something you don’t like doing. If you’re procrastinating because you’re feeling overwhelmed by too much to do or because you think you have to be perfect at it, you should follow the next two EFT videos I’ll be posting here to help you let go of these underlying issues.
Man, I wish I’d known EFT back when I was in college. We used to regularly get afflicted with “German Essay Syndrome,” where you have to do something unpleasant that you really don’t like doing (like the weekly German essay…) and so you mess around and waste time, all the while feeling the weight of the German essay hanging over your head. EFT would have helped us just do it and get on with having fun.
So, go ahead and give it a try. Follow along with this video and let me know what happens.
See you next time,
Are you a creative, sensitive, spiritual person? Do you want to share your gifts with the world? My self-help program Your Inspiring Life will help you get there.
In this video, I talk about the three basic reasons why we procrastinate. It’s important to get clear about what’s going on inside you when you’re avoiding doing something. Once you know what’s happening within you, you can focus on clearing the underlying issue with EFT.
The Three Reasons
Here are the three basic reasons why we procrastinate:
1. You just don’t want to do something but you feel like you have to.
2. You are overwhelmed with too much to do and can’t focus enough to prioritize.
3. You are putting way too much pressure on yourself to be perfect from the beginning.
EFT Videos to Help You Stop Procrastinating
In my next few video posts, I’ll help you stop procrastinating by helping you clear the three different underlying issues that are holding you back from taking action.
Once you’re clear about why you’re procrastinating, watch the video or videos that will help you with that. When you do, you’ll find that you start to feel inspired to take action. That’s how you’ll know you’ve done enough tapping. It’s a really amazing process… just clear the resistance through EFT and you’ll be ready for action. Good stuff.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this video and that it helped you get clear about what issue is causing you to procrastinate. I’ll be posting the EFT videos to help you with this in the next few days.
And please leave me a comment below and let me know what you think.
Share your gifts with the world. YourInspiringLife.com
Once you have done a number of these informational interviews, you will have gathered invaluable information about what your potential careers are really like on a day-to-day basis. By going through this process, you may have saved yourself years of study and effort in a field that ultimately would not have satisfied you. Plus, these initial connections will become invaluable contacts for you in the future once you’ve chosen a career path.
It’s exciting, isn’t it? You’re getting much closer to being able to make an inspired and informed decision about your future career.
Look at What You’ve Learned and See How You Feel About It
The next step in the process is to review all the information that you have gathered and see what it means to you. Were there specific careers that really stood out for you and inspired you? Move those to the top the list. Was there a career that didn’t appeal to you at all once you were able to talk to someone who was doing it? You might want to talk to someone else who’s in that field for a second perspective. If, after this, that career still doesn’t appeal to you, then cross it off the list. Was there one particular career that really stood out as something that you might want to pursue? Put a star next to that one.
Listen to your heart as you go through this process. Considering all the information you gathered, look for careers that really inspire and excite you when you think about doing them. Again, don’t let your fears hold you back from hearing the guidance of your heart. If you’re having trouble with this, use EFT to let go of the limiting beliefs and feelings that might be blocking you from making a decision. Once you let go of the negative thoughts that come up, it will be much easier to trust that your heart is really guiding you to what will be most satisfying and fulfilling for you to do as a career.
What to Do If You’re Still Not Sure
If you’re still not sure which career would suit you best, there are a couple of possible things that you can do. First, I would recommend you do some tapping about it. Use EFT to let go of the feeling that you’re not sure what career path you should choose. Tap on whatever underlying issues and limiting beliefs arise as you do. Tap on any other issues that may be blocking you from making a choice. These might include issues such as: I’m not good enough to succeed at that, I’m scared to make a choice because it’s such an important decision, I don’t trust myself to make the right decision, etc. Often tapping on issues like these will really help give you clarity and I recommend you give it a try.
Listen to Your Inner Guidance
If you still feel unsure after all this, you may want to do some additional informational interviews. Also, ask for your inner guidance to help you to choose a career that will really fulfill you. Then pay attention to what comes up for you. Journal about it and take some time to ask yourself what you really want. Perhaps an answer will emerge that you hadn’t even considered.
This is an important decision so it’s worth it to take the time to get clear about what feels right to you in your heart. By taking the steps I’ve recommended in the past few posts, you’ll be well on your way to discovering a career that will truly inspire and fulfill you.
My self-help program has many resources to help you discover what you want and let go of the inner barriers to getting there. Learn more about it here: YourInspiringLife.com
Although it may seem otherwise, the things that happen to us in our lives are not really the cause of our negative emotions. You can prove this to yourself by using EFT to tap on an issue until you get the intensity of it down to a rating of one or zero. When you do, you will show yourself and your mind that your thoughts are the real cause of your negative emotions. And you will know that you are capable of letting them go and reconnecting with the source of unconditional well-being that is always within you.
To illustrate this point, let’s say that you’re really upset at someone in your life. You’re probably going to have a lot of feelings and negative thoughts about that person and it will feel like they are the cause of your negative feelings. However, you will discover when you use EFT to tap on the circumstances and the negative emotions that go along with them that your feelings don’t depend on outside circumstances. They are not caused by things outside of yourself. They are caused by your thoughts about that thing and the judgments you have about it. EFT will help you let go of the static of that negative thought and the negative feelings that go along with it.
So what does that mean? It means that your well-being does not depend on anything outside of yourself. It has entirely to do with your thoughts. Your thoughts are what hold you back from the unconditional well-being that exists within you at every moment.
EFT as a Tool For Feeling Well-Being
There are a variety of methods to take you out of your patterns of negative thinking and I will go into a lot of those here in this blog. From experience, I know that EFT is one of the best tools for doing this. I have not heard people talk about this aspect of EFT as a tool for well-being. It tends to be used (very effectively) to let go of specific issues like painful past experiences, habitual patterns of negative emotion, and negative beliefs. However, if we use it consistently when we can’t seem to get ourselves out of stuck place, when we are obsessing about some problem or issue in our lives and we can’t seem to find our way back to place of well-being, it becomes an invaluable tool for dealing with those issues and releasing them. It becomes another doorway into your unconditional well-being.
Get It Down to a One or Zero and See What Happens
Be sure to tap on the issue until you get it down to one or zero whenever you can because this will just reinforce for you its value as a tool to reconnect with this place of peace and well-being within you. When you do, you will know this is true from your own experience.
And you will discover on a deeper level that your well-being is not conditional. It doesn’t depend on anything outside of yourself. Anytime you believe that it does, take some time to tap on that. Tap on the issue until it shifts, until it’s gone. What will happen is that you will have a new understanding of that issue, a new clarity that will reflect the peace and well-being and wisdom that you are, that exists beneath the layers of thought.
Follow Your Heart, Feel Your Unconditional Well-Being Your Inspiring Life
In this post, I’ll show you how to let go of negative thoughts and feelings with EFT. I’ll give you some ideas for how to use this technique to let go of procrastination, perfectionism, fear failure, and the need for love and approval of others.
In several posts I wrote recently, I talked about how procrastination is generally a mask for an underlying perfectionism. Perfectionism is an underlying mask for a fear of failure. And a fear of failure is masking a need for approval and love of others which we think that we need in order to feel happy and worthwhile as a human being.
The Essential Problem
When it comes down to it, this belief that the approval and love of others will bring us happiness reveals that we are focused in our minds, that we are not connected to the unconditional source of well-being within us. And that’s the essence of the issue.
What to Do about It
In future blog posts, I will be covering a lot of different techniques that I have found to be helpful for letting go of issues like these, but today I’m going to be talking about using EFT to help you release these issues and return to your natural state of unconditional well-being.
How to Let Go of These Negative Thought Patterns with EFT
EFT is a powerful and easy-to-use tool to let go of negative beliefs and feelings. Here are the basics of how to do it; I’ll go into more details below. All you need to do is simply tap on the nine key acupressure points of EFT as you think about any issue that is dominant in your mind at the moment. Follow where your mind takes you. You can use my How to Do EFT Video to guide you if you like.
As you tap on any issue and clear it, it is likely that new layers and aspects will emerge that point you deeper into the negative beliefs, feelings, and painful past memories for you to release. As you do, you will be releasing old habitual patterns of conditional thinking that you have probably lived with for a long time. Once you let go of these conditions that you are placing on your well-being through EFT, you will naturally begin to feel that wonderful experience of well-being that’s always available to you beneath your negative thoughts.
Some Ideas to Tap on to Let Go of These Issues
I’m going to make some videos to help walk you through using EFT to let go of procrastination, perfectionism, fear of failure, and the need for love and approval. Look for those in future blog posts or on my YouTube channel. Until then, here are some ideas for topics that you could tap on to let go of these issues:
- Not wanting to do this thing.
- Procrastinating on the next step.
- Feeling like I need to be perfect.
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of rejection and ridicule.
- Worry about what other people think of me and what I do.
- Feeling like I’m not lovable and not worthy unless I am perfect.
- And any other conditional thoughts or painful memories that emerge from your mind as you go through the process.
I think that gives you a general idea in a place to start for your own tapping. As you tap away these issues, you’ll be tapping into your unconditional well-being.
So that’s enough for now. As I said, in future posts, I will go into other effective ways I’ve found to help us to come back to the natural state of unconditional well-being within us. Look for those new videos soon, too.
Also, my self-help program, Your Inspiring Life, has 22 EFT recordings that help you easily let go of all of these limiting beliefs and more. I designed it to help you let go of all the internal barriers that are holding you back from fulfilling your dreams. It helps you feel inspired and motivated to take action to create a life that truly fulfills you. You can learn more about my program here: Your Inspiring Life
In my next post, I’ll talk more about how to use EFT as a doorway to access your unconditional well-being in each moment.
In this post, I’ll talk about EFT which is a very powerful, rapid, and gentle way to let go of negative beliefs, particularly those that we find difficult to let go of otherwise.
EFT: The Turbo Belief Changer
To use EFT, all you have to do is tap on nine different acupressure points on your face and body as you think about whatever negative beliefs you’re having and the painful feelings they are triggering in you. (If you not familiar with EFT, here’s a link to a video post that tells you all about it: So What Is EFT Anyway).
So let’s say you are feeling anxiety because a project you’re working on isn’t turning out perfectly. You would just tap on This anxiety that this isn’t working out the way I want it to. You could also tap on This anxiety from thinking that what I am doing has to be perfect right now. Phrase it in a way that resonates for you; that’s the key. You can follow along with my How to Do EFT video to clear these issues if you like.
As you tap on this issue round after round and ideally get your experience down to a one or zero, you will feel your natural state of unconditional well-being surfacing again. It is always there, just beneath the stormy surface of the negative ideas and corresponding feelings of your mind.
The Sea of Consciousness: EFT Helps You Go Deeper
Our consciousness is like the ocean. The mind is like the surface of the ocean. The surface can have wild storms on it, 50 foot high waves, tsunamis, or it can be relatively calm and peaceful, with just gentle waves rolling on the surface. But when you go deeper, when you go below the surface, there is a deep calm that is ever-present, and so much more vast than the surface of the ocean.
When you tap on an issue with EFT, you calm the waves of an intense feeling and when you clear it completely, your mind quiets and you sink down below the surface into the vast, beautiful experience of the presence of who you really are. You reach the place of unconditional well-being within you.
The more we do this, the less we identify with the surface turbulence of our minds. We know that negative feelings are a result of negative thoughts generated by our minds and that we are so much more than that.
I’ll talk more about connecting with this unconditional source of well-being within us in future posts. It’s one of my favorite things to share. I think it is the key to everything. Next time, I’ll talk more about how to use EFT to let go of procrastination, perfectionism, fear of failure, and the need for love and approval from others.
You can live a life that inspires and fulfills you. Your Inspiring Life
In this video, I go over the simple steps to learning EFT. As I said in a recent post about this simple but powerful energy technique, you can use EFT to help you let go of practically any issue that is bothering you. It works for negative emotions, limiting beliefs, painful past experiences, and even a variety of physical symptoms.
What Is EFT?
I also have a video that talks more about what EFT is from my perspective. If you’d like to watch that, here’s the link: So What Is EFT Anyway?
A Quick EFT Reference for You
I cover all of the following in the How to Do EFT video above, but here is a simple outline that you can use as a reference:
1. Identify the issue you want to address. Come up with a short phrase to describe it and be as specific as you can. This is what we call the reminder phrase. An example might be: This anxiety about my job interview.
2. Give it an intensity rating on a scale of 1 to 10, one being the least intense and 10 being the most intense.
3. Say the setup phrase three times as you rub on the tender spot or tap on the karate chop point. Here’s the structure: Even though I have (state the issue), I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
4. Tap on the seven key acupressure points on your face and body as described in the video as you say the reminder phrase.
5. As you tap on the karate chop point on the side of your hand, restate the setup phrase and add a positive affirmation. I use something like this: Even though I have (state the issue), I deeply and completely love and accept myself. And I choose to let go of (this issue) now and let myself feel unconditional well-being.
6. Take a deep breath and re-check on the intensity of the issue.
So that’s one round of the basic EFT process. If the intensity is going down, do another round of EFT and continue until you get the rating down to one or zero. If it doesn’t go down, do the Nine Gamut Procedure as I describe in the video between rounds.
And that’s all there is to it. A lot of times, persistence is the key to success with EFT. Just stick with it and you will make progress.
Trust Your Inner Wisdom
Just follow your intuition as well as you’re doing EFT. The issue you’re working on may shift, the emotion may change, or you may have some past memory emerge. Trust that this is your inner guidance showing you what you need to tap on to fully let go of this issue. I’ll go into this more in a future video post, but I just wanted to touch on it here.
I’d Love to Hear Your Questions or Experiences
If you have any questions or would like to share your experience with this video or with EFT, please leave me a comment below or here. I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks for visiting. I love sharing EFT and I’m so glad to be able to share this wonderful technique with you here.
To learn more about my EFT-based self-help program, click here: