Using Positive Energy Psychology (PEP) to Let Go of Painful Feelings and Return to Peace and Well-Being
It has become more and more clear to me that the key to releasing anxiety, fear, or any other negative emotion we experience is this: to love and accept ourselves absolutely and completely no matter what. Total unconditional self-love and self-acceptance frees us from the underlying low level of anxiety and negative emotion that most people experience in their lives on a daily basis. Continue reading Absolute and Unconditional Self-Love and Self-Acceptance→
Although it may seem otherwise, the things that happen to us in our lives are not really the cause of our negative emotions. You can prove this to yourself by using EFT to tap on an issue until you get the intensity of it down to a rating of one or zero. When you do, you will show yourself and your mind that your thoughts are the real cause of your negative emotions. And you will know that you are capable of letting them go and reconnecting with the source of unconditional well-being that is always within you.
To illustrate this point, let’s say that you’re really upset at someone in your life. You’re probably going to have a lot of feelings and negative thoughts about that person and it will feel like they are the cause of your negative feelings. However, you will discover when you use EFT to tap on the circumstances and the negative emotions that go along with them that your feelings don’t depend on outside circumstances. They are not caused by things outside of yourself. They are caused by your thoughts about that thing and the judgments you have about it. EFT will help you let go of the static of that negative thought and the negative feelings that go along with it.
So what does that mean? It means that your well-being does not depend on anything outside of yourself. It has entirely to do with your thoughts. Your thoughts are what hold you back from the unconditional well-being that exists within you at every moment.
EFT as a Tool For Feeling Well-Being
There are a variety of methods to take you out of your patterns of negative thinking and I will go into a lot of those here in this blog. From experience, I know that EFT is one of the best tools for doing this. I have not heard people talk about this aspect of EFT as a tool for well-being. It tends to be used (very effectively) to let go of specific issues like painful past experiences, habitual patterns of negative emotion, and negative beliefs. However, if we use it consistently when we can’t seem to get ourselves out of stuck place, when we are obsessing about some problem or issue in our lives and we can’t seem to find our way back to place of well-being, it becomes an invaluable tool for dealing with those issues and releasing them. It becomes another doorway into your unconditional well-being.
Get It Down to a One or Zero and See What Happens
Be sure to tap on the issue until you get it down to one or zero whenever you can because this will just reinforce for you its value as a tool to reconnect with this place of peace and well-being within you. When you do, you will know this is true from your own experience.
And you will discover on a deeper level that your well-being is not conditional. It doesn’t depend on anything outside of yourself. Anytime you believe that it does, take some time to tap on that. Tap on the issue until it shifts, until it’s gone. What will happen is that you will have a new understanding of that issue, a new clarity that will reflect the peace and well-being and wisdom that you are, that exists beneath the layers of thought.
In this post, I’ll show you how to let go of negative thoughts and feelings with EFT. I’ll give you some ideas for how to use this technique to let go of procrastination, perfectionism, fear failure, and the need for love and approval of others.
In several posts I wrote recently, I talked about how procrastination is generally a mask for an underlying perfectionism. Perfectionism is an underlying mask for a fear of failure. And a fear of failure is masking a need for approval and love of others which we think that we need in order to feel happy and worthwhile as a human being.
The Essential Problem
When it comes down to it, this belief that the approval and love of others will bring us happiness reveals that we are focused in our minds, that we are not connected to the unconditional source of well-being within us. And that’s the essence of the issue.
What to Do about It
In future blog posts, I will be covering a lot of different techniques that I have found to be helpful for letting go of issues like these, but today I’m going to be talking about using EFT to help you release these issues and return to your natural state of unconditional well-being.
How to Let Go of These Negative Thought Patterns with EFT
EFT is a powerful and easy-to-use tool to let go of negative beliefs and feelings. Here are the basics of how to do it; I’ll go into more details below. All you need to do is simply tap on the nine key acupressure points of EFT as you think about any issue that is dominant in your mind at the moment. Follow where your mind takes you. You can use my How to Do EFT Video to guide you if you like.
As you tap on any issue and clear it, it is likely that new layers and aspects will emerge that point you deeper into the negative beliefs, feelings, and painful past memories for you to release. As you do, you will be releasing old habitual patterns of conditional thinking that you have probably lived with for a long time. Once you let go of these conditions that you are placing on your well-being through EFT, you will naturally begin to feel that wonderful experience of well-being that’s always available to you beneath your negative thoughts.
Some Ideas to Tap on to Let Go of These Issues
I’m going to make some videos to help walk you through using EFT to let go of procrastination, perfectionism, fear of failure, and the need for love and approval. Look for those in future blog posts or on my YouTube channel. Until then, here are some ideas for topics that you could tap on to let go of these issues:
Not wanting to do this thing.
Procrastinating on the next step.
Feeling like I need to be perfect.
Fear of failure.
Fear of rejection and ridicule.
Worry about what other people think of me and what I do.
Feeling like I’m not lovable and not worthy unless I am perfect.
And any other conditional thoughts or painful memories that emerge from your mind as you go through the process.
I think that gives you a general idea in a place to start for your own tapping. As you tap away these issues, you’ll be tapping into your unconditional well-being.
So that’s enough for now. As I said, in future posts, I will go into other effective ways I’ve found to help us to come back to the natural state of unconditional well-being within us. Look for those new videos soon, too.
Also, my self-help program, Your Inspiring Life, has 22 EFT recordings that help you easily let go of all of these limiting beliefs and more. I designed it to help you let go of all the internal barriers that are holding you back from fulfilling your dreams. It helps you feel inspired and motivated to take action to create a life that truly fulfills you. You can learn more about my program here: Your Inspiring Life
In my next post, I’ll talk more about how to use EFT as a doorway to access your unconditional well-being in each moment.
In this post, I’ll talk about EFT which is a very powerful, rapid, and gentle way to let go of negative beliefs, particularly those that we find difficult to let go of otherwise.
EFT: The Turbo Belief Changer
To use EFT, all you have to do is tap on nine different acupressure points on your face and body as you think about whatever negative beliefs you’re having and the painful feelings they are triggering in you. (If you not familiar with EFT, here’s a link to a video post that tells you all about it: So What Is EFT Anyway).
So let’s say you are feeling anxiety because a project you’re working on isn’t turning out perfectly. You would just tap on This anxiety that this isn’t working out the way I want it to. You could also tap on This anxiety from thinking that what I am doing has to be perfect right now. Phrase it in a way that resonates for you; that’s the key. You can follow along with my How to Do EFT video to clear these issues if you like.
As you tap on this issue round after round and ideally get your experience down to a one or zero, you will feel your natural state of unconditional well-being surfacing again. It is always there, just beneath the stormy surface of the negative ideas and corresponding feelings of your mind.
The Sea of Consciousness: EFT Helps You Go Deeper
Our consciousness is like the ocean. The mind is like the surface of the ocean. The surface can have wild storms on it, 50 foot high waves, tsunamis, or it can be relatively calm and peaceful, with just gentle waves rolling on the surface. But when you go deeper, when you go below the surface, there is a deep calm that is ever-present, and so much more vast than the surface of the ocean.
When you tap on an issue with EFT, you calm the waves of an intense feeling and when you clear it completely, your mind quiets and you sink down below the surface into the vast, beautiful experience of the presence of who you really are. You reach the place of unconditional well-being within you.
The more we do this, the less we identify with the surface turbulence of our minds. We know that negative feelings are a result of negative thoughts generated by our minds and that we are so much more than that.
I’ll talk more about connecting with this unconditional source of well-being within us in future posts. It’s one of my favorite things to share. I think it is the key to everything. Next time, I’ll talk more about how to use EFT to let go of procrastination, perfectionism, fear of failure, and the need for love and approval from others.
In a recent post, I talked about how we get caught in patterns of negative thoughts and feelings that hold us back from reaching for what we are really inspired to do in our lives. Issues like procrastination, perfectionism, fear of failure, and the need for the love and approval of others not only hold us back from our dreams but they also hold us back from enjoying each step we take on the journey of life.
As Eckhart Tolle says, this is all really just a game of the mind, of the ego, that keeps us running ceaselessly on the hamster wheel of reaching for something in the future that we think will bring us to the place where we can feel good about ourselves and our lives.
We Create These Conditions on Our Well-Being Ourselves
These are just some of the conditions that we place on ourselves and our well-being. I can’t be happy until… you fill in the blank. As I said, it’s all a game of the mind. Because the truth is that your well-being is completely and totally unconditional. There is no external reason why you cannot feel the peace and joy of your being right now. The only reason you would think otherwise is because you have adopted a belief that says this is not true.
Sometimes, just acknowledging this is enough. If you have been practicing connecting with the source of unconditional well-being within you through whatever method you find works best for you, then you have at least had flashes of the reality of this.
Meditation, intense presence in the now, and using EFT to get an issue down to zero are some of the key the techniques that I use to get me there. Lately, I have been intensely practicing bringing myself back to my inner energy body as Eckhart Tolle describes in his book The Power of Now. I’ll talk more about how to do these things in future posts.
When you do connect with that place of unconditional well-being within you, it begins to break down those barriers. Difficulties in life arise primarily because we live from that place of our ego. And that can be a very painful place to be. If we let it, all of life can become a struggle for love and approval from others, thinking that once we get that we will feel good. When others do approve of us and love us, it does feel good, but there is always the underlying fear that that approval will be taken away and that we will then plummet back into the pain of not having it.
They’re Not Real
That’s why it is so important to recognize the unreality of these beliefs. And from my own experience, the only way to get there is to experience the unconditional love and well-being that exists within you always… that you are in your essence. It is there. You just need to open yourself to experience it.
In my next posts, I’ll go over a couple of simple ways to help you change your thoughts and let go of these negative beliefs, these self-imposed conditions on your well-being.